Virgil spent a total of sixteen hours in the hospital where Kayo and Gordon had landed. He’d been poked and prodded by any number of specialists in that time, taking great care to ensure the antivenom had done its job and that he wasn’t about to deteriorate the second he walked out of their doors. He’d been lectured extensively about the signs of serum sickness which could develop at any point in time over the next two weeks and given strict instructions to stay on a reduced workload until the danger had passed. Scott had seized the literature the doctors had liberally handed out and Virgil suspected he had forwarded a copy to everyone in the family.
Gordon and Kayo had left in Two, volunteering to drop Dr Furnier off as soon as he had been cleared in the post rescue check-up. Virgil had been semi-conscious when they said their goodbyes, and he had a vague impression of hushed voices and a roar of green outside his window as they left.
But now, Virgil had been cleared to return home and his heart lifted at the sight of Thunderbird One gleaming in the late afternoon sun. Scott hovered as Virgil settled himself in for the journey home, only leaving to prepare for take off when he was certain Virgil was comfortable. Virgil suspected that even then, a few security cameras would be trained on him.
Within half an hour, the auto-pilot had been set and Scott returned to stare at him with anxious eyes.
“I’m fine, Scott,” said Virgil, trying to push away the twinge of irritation he felt at Scott’s insistent proximity. He knew his brother had been scared badly by the whole incident and Gordon had quietly talked to him about how Scott had reacted once he was fully awake, his worry evident even over comms.
“I know,” said Scott, leaning against the doorframe.
“Are we travelling sub-sonic?” asked Virgil, gesturing out the small window at the land passing beneath them.
“Yeah,” said Scott. “I just wanted to be sure you were okay.”
“You realise Kayo hauled ass to the hospital going at least Mach 6, right?”
“That was different,” said Scott with a scowl. “That was an emergency.”
“I just meant I’m not going to break,” said Virgil.
Scott grunted in response. Virgil eyed him carefully, considering his next move. Manipulating Scott into sharing his troubles was never a production to be taken lightly.
“I’m sorry,” said Scott, eventually.
Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Sorry as in a general ‘sorry this happened’ or sorry as in ‘every shit thing that I can’t prevent is my personal responsibility’?”
Scott glared at him. “I should never have sent you out there.”
“You didn’t, John did,” said Virgil with an exasperated look on his face. “And he’s not taking on blame that belongs to a literal spider.”
“You think John sent you out there?”
Virgil’s expression morphed into one of incredulity.
“Who else?”
“It wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for me!”
“How do you figure that?” demanded Virgil. “Explain it to me, Scott, because I’m not seeing the connection here.”
Scott scrubbed at his face and collapsed in the chair next to Virgil, staring past him with awful, haunted eyes.
“It’s just ever since Braman, ever since we found out, it’s been playing over and over in my mind. What I chose to do, what we could have done instead.”
“Scott,” said Virgil, his heart aching. “We couldn’t have known. Dad’s not going to blame you for not acting sooner.”
“No, I know, that’s not… Virgil, that’s not the issue, that was never the issue.” Scott shook his head and let out a hollow laugh. “No, I can’t help thinking about how I was so desperate to keep a piece of Dad alive, to keep his legacy going that I never once stopped to think about how it would affect you all. How it would change me.”
Virgil’s eyes widened, but he stayed silent at his brother’s side.
“Do you really think Dad would have wanted all this? God Virg, I was so eager, I never even thought about any of you.”
“We made our choices too,” said Virgil quietly. “It’s not like you forced us.”
“No? I put Alan in a rocket when he was, what? Fourteen? What fourteen year old is going to say ‘no thanks, I think I’ll do my algebra homework instead’? Come on, not even John would have done that, I practically bribed the kid to start his training.”
“Would you prefer the alternative?” asked Virgil. “All those families with lost loved ones? Do you really think any of us could have sat by knowing we had the machines and the skillset to save them? Do you think Dad could have?”
“No, of course not, it’s just…” Scott dropped his head in his hands. “This used to be so much easier.”
“What was?”
“Letting you all go.”
“What changed?”
“What do you think? Dad’s out there, Virg. He’s out there, for real, and we have a chance at getting him back.”
Scott sighed. “It’s been getting harder for a while though,” he admitted. “It used to be really easy, we were just doing what we’d always done. And then it got harder, because I had to accept the consequences that came with the responsibility of choosing to continue, of choosing to command. I was okay with that because, even after John nearly died, I thought we were nearly invincible. But then the Hood made it all the way to Mateo. And then the Mechanic arrived. And then the Chaos Crew too. Then Gordon lying in a hospital, Alan and Kayo nearly killed trying to secure our ticket to Dad, you all but dying in front of me. Virgil, that was literally yesterday. None of you look so invincible anymore.”
Virgil looked away, staring instead at the small bump on his hand. It was still red and a little inflamed although the pain had long since faded and the swelling was no more. From this side of the emergency, it was hard to believe there had been any kind of narrow escape.
“What will you do now?” he finally asked.
“Now?” Scott was silent for a moment. “Now, I have to account for the choices I made while in command.”
He shook himself and gave Virgil an unconvincing smile.
“How about you, you’re still okay?”
Virgil knew he wouldn’t get anything more from Scott that day. None of the guilt he was feeling for continuing to send them all into danger, none of the fear of their Dad rejecting him for failing at a task no one had ever expected him to complete. He wouldn’t hear any of it. Scott wouldn’t betray how helpless he felt watching Virgil laid out on a stretcher in front of him, just like Virgil wouldn’t tell him how helpless they all felt watching their eldest brother tear himself into pieces over a worn and tattered hope that was struggling to see the light of day.
He gave Scott a tired smile, and rested his head on his brother’s shoulder. “Yeah, I’m okay now.”
It was enough that he was still there.